Character building, the Marquis de Sade way.......

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Day 11. 

Part 1

I am in my 'cave'. Tyson, our neurotic, hyperactive boxer, is outside the door, making an occasional grunt to let us know he is there and I am sprawled on my sofa. Law and Order re runs are on TV, Ice and drink close by, The AC is humming at 18 Degrees, just the way i like it. Charlene is dozing off next to me. Dinner should be up shortly. Its just another Sunday evening and it all seems so 'normal'. 

I don't even know where to begin. I sit dazed and a bit 'vacant'. Ok.. so that's my normal state anyway.. but today, maybe a bit more so. I have just fulfilled a dream. A big tick off the bucket list, and pushed my mind and body beyond what i thought was ever possible. I took on a challenge that was either going to be achieved through a lot of pain and suffering or leave me a quivering lump of blubber, not necessarily with a pulse on some sun scorched patch of tarmac or sand as it turned out) in some far flung location of my Island home. Either way, i told my self, this would be a life changing experience. 

As you may recall from my previous posts, i was not even close to the kind of level of fitness, that was needed to take on this kind of a test. I weighed in the heaviest i had been in my life, the day before the ride. I had never do more than 85km in on day, i hated the heat, i cramp badly and often. Yet, here I was 11 days, 1400km's and and exhausting 80+ hours of riding later, alive and well and feeling a bit "stoned" and as was synonymous with me being "stoned" a senseless grin on my face. 

We expected the ride to Trinco, and part 1 of the journey to be the tough one. I do recall several of the riders saying day three would 'separate the men from the boys', and if we survived that, we would be cruising for the rest of it. Well... someone forgot to circulate that memo. I can't think of a more spectacularly inaccurate prediction, since 2012 apocalypse. 

In spite of the best efforts of the bumbling staff of Chaaya Blu, we managed to have a very relaxing day off, lounging around, sipping margarita's (damn decent ones i must add), reading or flopping around in the pool. Sleep was caught up with and I have to admit, a pretty decent spread was laid out for us for dinner. I shall spare my dear friends and former colleagues at Keells  blushes by not elaborating on our collective experience post dinner but all in all the rest day was a good idea. The lack of a Spa deprived us of a massage but everyone was pretty relaxed and ready to take on the 'nice part' of the ride. 

Trinco to Mullaitivu lived up to the hype and we rode through spectacular beachscapes, waterways, had a short boat ride to cross the picturesque Kilali lagoon, and rode our bikes on beautiful carpeted and shady (for most of it) roads. We were done early and were taken to our accommodation. We had been informed of good quality residential facilities of the Sri Lanka Army but didn't expect more than the basics, and were not disappointed. 

I have been at some really top notch military 'guest houses' but this one was not in the running... maybe not in the top seven hundred and forty nine. It was a dump. 

The Navy had prepared a hasty lunch which was gratefully partaken, chased by ice cold Lion Lager and we got as much sleep as we could get. 

That night a 'collective' decision was made to change our route. To make it more interesting and push it out of reach of anyone trying to better our ride, by riding a previously un 'ridden' road used purely by the LTTE first and now post war by the Military to service their most remote of out posts in the country. Desolate clusters of buildings huddled together in the middle of nowhere and waste areas of open landscape. It all seemed rather romantic with a Benson and a Johnny Walker in hand.. a cool fan blowing overhead, but what awaited us was pure hell, that nearly broke our spirit, a few bones, scorched the skin off us, dehydrated us to a dry powder and ended our attempt at The Pearl. It was a brutal 75km on sand, rock, gravel, sand, rock and did I mention sand, rock and gravel?... in 42 degree heat. The land scape was featureless; the tree line was too far to offer even a pool of shadow and if and when there was a tiny patch of shadow, there was a huddle of riders, trying desperately to get some respite from the searing heat. 

Almost every one fell at some point. Some just gentle 'cleat falls' trying to dismount our rides, but some genuine tumbles on the un forgiving terrain. Yasas, had a bad bruise on his hand that crippled him for most of the ride. He was barely able to hold the grip with his left hand but soldiered on. Charlene added to her collection of scars and bruises and a few others ended up on their already sore 'derriere's. We were suffering. Our misery was reduced to some extent thanks to Ravi's arrangement with the scattering of Navy camps to arrange Kurumba (Coconut Water) fresh off trees, and replenish our rapidly depleting water supply. 

The terrain meant that this ride was done sans any back up. No one close to us in case of an emergency. We were well and truly on our own. Ajith kept saying "sun builds character" .... at 50 I had all the fucking character i need and let him know so and i was just absolutely miserable but we soldiered on. I was fortunate that i had no more bouts of cramp and had i started cramping on this stretch of road i was as good as dead. 

Every time i looked up, all i saw was what loosely passed off as road, meandering into a hazy, mirage, no shade and no respite in site. The sky was cloudless and there was nothing to give us any indication of how long this would last. 

I made a list of things I learned. 

Lesson One: Mother nature was a heartless old cow. Praying, begging, pleading, demanding doesn't work with her. I did all of the above asking her for one cloud.. one single cloud, but instead of obliging the only cloud the cranky old bag sent stayed over head for about thirty seconds and then scooted across the road into the uncleared mine fields we were riding through. Oh.. I didn't tell you about the minefields did I?? yes. We were riding for a fare distance through uncleared mine fields. This meant that if you had to piss, you had to do so on the road. A particularly daunting challenge for Charlene the only woman on the ride. 

Lesson Two: testicles, bad road and a hard bike seat are not a good combination to experiment with. I am immensely pleased that i completed this ride all intact and in good working order. Close call though. Better keep checking, just in case one or both fall off in a delayed reaction to the battering they got. 

Lesson Three: Ice is great, not just in cocktails but on tired legs, head, neck and those bruised 'boys' I was talking about earlier. Basically, Ice is the gold of a biker. 

Lesson Four: Underwear and Bike Pants don't go hand in hand. No undies with the bib shorts. They bunch up and create bad friction with the nether regions and cause a lot of grief. This means you need to ensure that all assets are carefully arranged to as to avoid sudden detachment from body due to undue stress caused by bumps in road. 

Lesson Five: Humans are incredibly resilient animals. Just when you think your body is going to shut down, move into a foetal position, and your going to burst into tears and cry like a little girl.. you dig out some reserves that you thought you never had. The compulsion to live, to survive and trundle one is greater than the compulsion to give up. You just have to believe that. Too many people just give up. 

Lesson Six: There is nothing like suffering together to bond a team. 

Lesson Seven: A hot shower and a good nights sleep makes the world seem like a much nicer place . 

Lessons having been listed, we trundled on. Finally making it onto a proper "carpet" road was an incredibly satisfying experience. We made it alive and in reasonably 'useable' shape to Point Pedro, the Northern most point in Sri Lanka and then we headed back down South. Jaffna. 

Our marathon detour from Mullaitivu meant we had been on the road for 14 hours and in the saddle for 10. We were sore, tired, but un believably cheerful for a bunch of riders who had just ridden through hell and back. Amazing fellows these creatures called humans.. but especially amazing were the 11 others who rode along side me through that day. It took some serious effort to complete that ride and here we were, laughing and joking about it while wolfing down ice creams at the famed Rio Ice Cream parlour. 

If Mullaitivu to Jaffna didn't kill us, Jaffna to Mannar gave it a pretty decent shot as well. We were back on street bikes, and cruising along nicely on beautiful road surface till about 30km to go and suddenly it all became rather ugly. Road works, gravel, broken bridges, and rough concrete to end the day on. Not good on suspension less street bikes. 

To add to our misery, Mother Nature decided to show us who was boss again, turning up the heat and  the wind and clearing the sky of all clouds.

One would think, while riding around an island, at some point you would enjoy a 'tail wind'?? Right???? Riiiight?? .. But Noooo. The wind hit us from head on, from the left, from the right, i swear it even came from on top of us, but not once, not for even a fleeting moment did we enjoy a tail wind. It seemed that Ma Nat had conspired against us. But then again according to my dear friend Ajith... it all builds character. 

The riders were and  incredibly mixed bunch. Jehan, the thespian, who would break into song with me, rattling through Simon and Garfunkle, show tunes and some good old fashioned limericks. Although fatigues himself he would always find energy to encourage and energise inspire and keep on 'trucking' through the toughest patches of road. 

Dushmantha, a man of few words, who would get on his bike in the morning and just ride on. Daubed in Sunscreen from head to toe, he never seems tired or frazzled. No complaints.. just riding along. If ever there was a man to replace the energizer bunny, here he was. 

Gihan, struggling with a pinched nerve in his neck, visibly in pain but gritting his way through that. Never too tired to help me 'move on' in his slip stream. Covering for me through the wind and helping me get through some tough patches. He and his room mate Sanjay, who was also always there to push me on when i needed some 'lift', created the comedy pairing for the trip. The 'happy couple' continuously bickered at each other much to the mirth of all around. Sanjay had the addition burden of a large blister on his butt that meant, he gets to claim to be the poster boy for Femmes sanitary napkins. He had to pad his pants with several of them on order to sit on his bike. 

Yasas was our ride leader and and incredibly strong rider and clearly the best among the group, barely breaking a sweat most days but always the first to drop back and help a straggler or pull the group together. His timely stop calls helped keep the group hydrated and capable of taking on the heat and the elements. It was his early ride management that ensured our latter success. 

Anu and Suren, The lone Ranger and Tonto, were both strong riders who would take off like rabbits at any given chance and be mere dots in the distance on most day. Both preferring to set their own aggressive pace rather than trundle along with the pack. They were the two elder statesmen of the group at 57 and 54 and incredibly fit. It would be insulting to add 'at their age' as they are fit by any yardstick you want to measure them by. They would kick most twenty year olds asses on any given day. 

Peter is an adventure sport specialist. Need i say more. One of the strongest riders in the group, supremely fit and experienced in the saddle. Always smiling and ready to give you a bit of cover by riding in front of you to protect you from a head wind. Great fun on the road and at the bar post ride, to enjoy a cold beer with. 

Ravi was an ex Naval officer who could not be separated from his phone no matter what. He was great at getting us permission to do some rare bits of road such as the Wilpattu stretch but could not ride the entire route and was compelled to hitch a ride in a support vehicle on several stretches. Ravi was also responsible for keeping us alive during that horrific Mullaitivu Jaffna stretch by calling on his military contacts to provide us with refreshments. 

Ajith, was the brains behind the ride.  It was his plan of doing something special for his 50th that started this all off. We had know each other from childhood and having him arrange this gave me immense confidence in what we were taking on. He is an obsessive rider who is extremely fit and had no problems what so ever in completing this ride. He was also the first person to drop back should any rider have problems. Quick to provide a 'pull' and encouragement to get you back to the front and apart from his ideas on 'character building' a solid human being. 

Charlene, my partner and the only woman on the ride was a revelation. I was certain that she was biting off more than she could chew, but boy were we all surprised. She turned out to be an excellent rider with a determination and grit that i had never seen before. She earned her stripes on this one.. and we suspect 'grew a pair' in the process as apparently this ride was to 'separate the men from the boys'. 

This was the bunch that did it.... that rode the Pearl. 

                                                                To be continued.......