Milestones: 1. Graduation

  Once again, I am seated in an airplane, several thousand meters above sea level, making my way back home. I was in LA for a landmark occasion. Sharya, my older son graduated from The University of Southern California; A grand graduation ceremony for a thousand kids (that was just the business school) and their proud parents.

  I was there with my first ex wife (Ex1), who is the mother of both my children, and my younger son Sachin, who is also a student at the same institution. I tend to be somewhat dismissive about ‘sentiment’ at such events, attempting to be nonchalant and aloof of the hype, but when you are seated in a hall with tens of thousands of people and watching the grand ceremony, its hard not to feel a pang [or ten] of emotion and a lump the size of significant discomfort in your throat. I have to admit; I even sprung a leak in my eyes when I saw him walk on to the stage arms raised in triumph, bellowing at his mates up on stage with him. A triumph to us, Ex1 and me, as it was to him. 

  He had done it. He had done well. In spite of him looking somewhat dazed and exhausted from several days and nights of continuous celebration (much deserved) and consumption of who knows what, seeing him in his cap and gown was something special. His grades were good, which is more than I can say when I staggered on to a stage 26 years ago.

  The graduation from university, of a child, marks a huge turning point in ones life. You are now the father of a ‘true adult’; A man who has now got the foundation to go out and make his mark in the world. What that mark may be is no longer up to Ex1 and me. We were responsible for getting him to this point. Now its all him.

  These two weeks in my life, I have looked forward to from when I first became a father 24 years ago. I knew that if the math was right and if Sharya especially, stuck to the plan he would graduate in 2014. Probably May, which is graduation month. The month of the year, that I turn 50; two monumental events in my life, a few days apart from each other.

  I wish I could say that it was the mid point in my life, but we all know that’s long gone. Making it to a hundred would take a miracle of biblical proportions. Not after what I have put this poor body through.

  When you are younger you don’t take your body and your good health seriously. In fact, you take it totally for granted. You abuse it with junk food, alcohol and tobacco and with several substances that feature prominently on the banned list of almost every sport known to man. Yet, you expect to make it to middle age unscathed. The arrogance of youth gives us a sense of invincibility. This bubble most often bursts with your first health check past the age of forty. Sadly several of my friends didn’t even make it to forty, let alone the health check. 

  One day, you are a sportsman, with sub 10% body fat, strutting around bare bodied whenever you got a chance and suddenly you are an graying, balding, wrinkling man, peering at an almost unrecognizable image in the mirror, buying loose fitting clothes and wandering where it all went.

  50; the big half-century; what does it mean?

  To me, it’s a wake up call. It’s a final chance. If I don’t reverse some of the damage through a healthier life style, the quality of the however many years I may have left is going to deteriorate and do so rapidly.

  The ride changed a lot of things. I got me back to a reasonable state of fitness and now I have the momentum to improve from this point onwards. However, the challenges are the same, if not greater.

  As soon as you gather some traction with a routine, travel comes up.

  This trip was no different. My nephew Shahin had made reservations at ‘Wolvesmouth’ an incredible dining experience that is one of the most sought after tickets in LA. This along with celebration dinners, In and Out Burgers, Panda Inn Chinese, Breakfast Taco’s, My cousins Cherine’s well stocked fridge and larder meant that that the battle was a tough one.

My trainers approach to it all would have been, “don’t eat it” and stick with the leafy, healthy stuff that was good for you. However, being a mere mortal I don’t have that level of self-control. I did however reduce quantities, tried to stay away from the obvious calorie bombs and walked for many miles around her neighborhood to burn at least some of the calories I was piling in.

  How does one find this balance? Lets face it. The books or magazines have prescribed lifestyles that don’t work for most of us. We can’t stick to those regimes, hence the great success of diet books and fads. Everyone seeks the magic formula of weight loss without great sacrifice. Is that the Holy Grail? Are pills the answer?

  My plan is to hit the gym and the bike as hard as possible when I am not traveling or committed to weekends such as the one coming up. You don’t turn 50 every day and I am certainly not going to see that landmark in sipping soda and nibbling on celery sticks. I will enjoy it as I normally would but minus piles of junk food or ‘bites’ accompanying the liquids. I will cut down on quantities I eat and drink lots of water.

Come Monday, it’s back to the regime, Smoothies for breakfast and healthy lunch and dinner, regular workouts mixing cardio and weights and yoga if I could possibly fit this all in. This may result in some fluctuations in weight but overall it may just provide the balance that I could sustain for the duration of what’s left of my life.

  My friends Anithra, Shazna and I were chatting recently and we have a plan. I stole the idea from another friend Murtaza. Charlene will most likely join as well. We are starting a Whatsapp chat group. What we plan on doing is sharing among each other our adherence to, both diet and workout regimes. The lofty goal is two workouts a day and low starch, low sugar diets. The intention is that it will keep us honest and keep us focused on our goals.

  Charlene and I have many plans for the years to come; a lot revolving on riding a bicycle, but some walking as well. We are hoping to make ‘Around The Pearl’ and annual event and ‘TRAIL’ will do one more walk, this time from North to South. I would like to ride in the Himalayas, at high altitude and walk the Camino de Santiago. I hope to be able push the boundaries of my physical ability for as long as I can and when I cant ride, climb and trek and my body is finally telling me to slow down, I will get back to Golf; but if my dreams become reality, I will die painlessly in some beautiful place on this planet, long before I ever am so old that I have to take up golf.  

And life goes on.....

Its been a couple of weeks since the ride ended. I am not sure if that was the end of something significant or if it was the beginning.
I would like to think it's the latter. 

For most participants of something 'epic' when it ends there is a crash. 
Emotionally, the participants all feel a sense of emptiness and of 'what next'. I am no different. Its exactly how i expected to feel and exactly how I did feel after the ride. 

Waking up in my own bed, my psychotic dog trying to break the bedroom door down, attempting to give us his version of a good morning kiss (big globs of spit lavishly spread on any exposed part of body) and the familiar bird calls in the background  Kingfishers, Drongos, Koels and Orioles, all gave the dawn a strangely disjointed sense of normalcy. 

However, what was 'normal' seemed unfamiliar, at least for now. It would take a few days for our minds to get around the fact that the ride was over. Till then my 'normal' was still an urge to hustle out of bed, get dressed in our riding gear and stumble out of our rooms with hastily packed luggage to mount our bikes and ride off into the morning. 

It would take us a little while to get over the feeling of it being over. To enjoy the accomplishment and to re live the memories; That would come. Its almost like the multiple steps of grief. In a way, thats exactly what this was. Grief; that something special that we were a part of had ended. That we had to go back to our offices and lives and routines. That the buzz and the thrill was over. 

Its kind of surreal that i can even think fondly of the ride, as for most of it, all i kept trying to do was remind myself as to why i was doing it. Have I figured that out yet? No. However, I have renewed confidence in my ability to push beyond what I thought was possible and to achieve what at times seemed like the impossible. I have also ( much to my horror) developed a tolerance for heat. Suddenly 35 degrees celsius doesn't seem all that hot. Maybe as Ajith said so often on the ride.. it did build character. 

The other lesson learned was that there really was no point bitching to the gods about the pain you were in and counting down the km's till the end. First, the gods don't give a shit about the discomfort you are going through. I figure they have more pressing issues than sore bums and numb testicles to worry about. Second, trying to count down only seems to make things go slower. Painfully, mind numbing, hysteria rising, slower. Just go with it. Live in the moment. Think good thoughts and focus on whats happening then and there. Spin your wheels. Before you know it, your smoking that first post ride Gold Leaf and sipping that cold beer. 

How will this translate into my daily life, and will this help me continue to strive towards my fitness and life goals? Yes. I honestly think it will. This time I paid attention to what my body and mind was going through. i know the whole thing about old dogs and new tricks but this time I hope I have learned. 

Since returning, Charlene and I have been spending more and more time on our bikes. Riding three times a week, including a ride to Bentota and many early morning rides to and around Colombo. It feels great. The bike is no longer the object of terror it once was. My bum hurts far less or not at all, as do my wrists and elbows and I can actually bend over to grip the lower part of the handle bars.  A feat unachievable in the past due to a huge lump of belly fat folding up and suffocating me. 

The level of confidence I feel about riding is also high. So much so that I am now thinking of joining this ride on an annual basis (that's what Ajith and Yasas plan on doing), making it a goal of mine to be able to ride it better each year. I have also got a few 'extreme' rides in mind, which have won  a nod from  Ajith but I haven't  shared it with the rest. I am sure a few others would jump at the chance. I am also planning on joining a proposed ride around Sri Lanka in August. Maybe not the whole thing but a few of the legs. 

If you had asked me abut riding, while half way between Mullaitivu and Jaffna, the odds of you having to make a hasty trip to the closest hospital to retrieve a size 10 riding shoe (with cleats), from the depths of your rectum would have been far better than even. Now however, it would be a welcome conversation. 

I have also signed up with a personal trainer to work on my diet, lifestyle and to work out three days a week. I have actually started monitoring what I am eating. I have cut down my alcohol consumption and while I don't want to call it a diet, in fear that my mind will immediately go into 'fuck dieting' mode, I think of it more as 'sensible consumption'. 

My first workout was was two days ago and apart from feeling like I have been raped by a Gorilla and then thrown under the feet of a rampaging Rhino, alls well. I am not sure how I am going to manage to tie my shoe laces, leave alone work out again today, but that's the plan. I would like to ask my trainer for some sympathy today, but knowing her she would probably push me harder, so I shall shut up and push on. 

I have set myself a new goal. I want to drop my weight a further 10kg and be able to ride in the 'front pack' with the big boys. I want to get back to wearing my thin clothes and give my fat clothes to charity. I want to be able to see my 'willie' without having to peek over a belly roll and I would dearly love to see an old friend, my six pack, come back to say hello to me. I have been bitten by the fitness bug who seems to be closely related to the bike bug and I am loving every minute of it.