Its been a couple of weeks since the ride ended. I am not sure if that was the end of something significant or if it was the beginning.
I would like to think it's the latter.
For most participants of something 'epic' when it ends there is a crash.
Emotionally, the participants all feel a sense of emptiness and of 'what next'. I am no different. Its exactly how i expected to feel and exactly how I did feel after the ride.
Waking up in my own bed, my psychotic dog trying to break the bedroom door down, attempting to give us his version of a good morning kiss (big globs of spit lavishly spread on any exposed part of body) and the familiar bird calls in the background Kingfishers, Drongos, Koels and Orioles, all gave the dawn a strangely disjointed sense of normalcy.
However, what was 'normal' seemed unfamiliar, at least for now. It would take a few days for our minds to get around the fact that the ride was over. Till then my 'normal' was still an urge to hustle out of bed, get dressed in our riding gear and stumble out of our rooms with hastily packed luggage to mount our bikes and ride off into the morning.
It would take us a little while to get over the feeling of it being over. To enjoy the accomplishment and to re live the memories; That would come. Its almost like the multiple steps of grief. In a way, thats exactly what this was. Grief; that something special that we were a part of had ended. That we had to go back to our offices and lives and routines. That the buzz and the thrill was over.
Its kind of surreal that i can even think fondly of the ride, as for most of it, all i kept trying to do was remind myself as to why i was doing it. Have I figured that out yet? No. However, I have renewed confidence in my ability to push beyond what I thought was possible and to achieve what at times seemed like the impossible. I have also ( much to my horror) developed a tolerance for heat. Suddenly 35 degrees celsius doesn't seem all that hot. Maybe as Ajith said so often on the ride.. it did build character.
The other lesson learned was that there really was no point bitching to the gods about the pain you were in and counting down the km's till the end. First, the gods don't give a shit about the discomfort you are going through. I figure they have more pressing issues than sore bums and numb testicles to worry about. Second, trying to count down only seems to make things go slower. Painfully, mind numbing, hysteria rising, slower. Just go with it. Live in the moment. Think good thoughts and focus on whats happening then and there. Spin your wheels. Before you know it, your smoking that first post ride Gold Leaf and sipping that cold beer.
How will this translate into my daily life, and will this help me continue to strive towards my fitness and life goals? Yes. I honestly think it will. This time I paid attention to what my body and mind was going through. i know the whole thing about old dogs and new tricks but this time I hope I have learned.
Since returning, Charlene and I have been spending more and more time on our bikes. Riding three times a week, including a ride to Bentota and many early morning rides to and around Colombo. It feels great. The bike is no longer the object of terror it once was. My bum hurts far less or not at all, as do my wrists and elbows and I can actually bend over to grip the lower part of the handle bars. A feat unachievable in the past due to a huge lump of belly fat folding up and suffocating me.
The level of confidence I feel about riding is also high. So much so that I am now thinking of joining this ride on an annual basis (that's what Ajith and Yasas plan on doing), making it a goal of mine to be able to ride it better each year. I have also got a few 'extreme' rides in mind, which have won a nod from Ajith but I haven't shared it with the rest. I am sure a few others would jump at the chance. I am also planning on joining a proposed ride around Sri Lanka in August. Maybe not the whole thing but a few of the legs.
If you had asked me abut riding, while half way between Mullaitivu and Jaffna, the odds of you having to make a hasty trip to the closest hospital to retrieve a size 10 riding shoe (with cleats), from the depths of your rectum would have been far better than even. Now however, it would be a welcome conversation.
I have also signed up with a personal trainer to work on my diet, lifestyle and to work out three days a week. I have actually started monitoring what I am eating. I have cut down my alcohol consumption and while I don't want to call it a diet, in fear that my mind will immediately go into 'fuck dieting' mode, I think of it more as 'sensible consumption'.
My first workout was was two days ago and apart from feeling like I have been raped by a Gorilla and then thrown under the feet of a rampaging Rhino, alls well. I am not sure how I am going to manage to tie my shoe laces, leave alone work out again today, but that's the plan. I would like to ask my trainer for some sympathy today, but knowing her she would probably push me harder, so I shall shut up and push on.
I have set myself a new goal. I want to drop my weight a further 10kg and be able to ride in the 'front pack' with the big boys. I want to get back to wearing my thin clothes and give my fat clothes to charity. I want to be able to see my 'willie' without having to peek over a belly roll and I would dearly love to see an old friend, my six pack, come back to say hello to me. I have been bitten by the fitness bug who seems to be closely related to the bike bug and I am loving every minute of it.
I would like to think it's the latter.
For most participants of something 'epic' when it ends there is a crash.
Emotionally, the participants all feel a sense of emptiness and of 'what next'. I am no different. Its exactly how i expected to feel and exactly how I did feel after the ride.
Waking up in my own bed, my psychotic dog trying to break the bedroom door down, attempting to give us his version of a good morning kiss (big globs of spit lavishly spread on any exposed part of body) and the familiar bird calls in the background Kingfishers, Drongos, Koels and Orioles, all gave the dawn a strangely disjointed sense of normalcy.
However, what was 'normal' seemed unfamiliar, at least for now. It would take a few days for our minds to get around the fact that the ride was over. Till then my 'normal' was still an urge to hustle out of bed, get dressed in our riding gear and stumble out of our rooms with hastily packed luggage to mount our bikes and ride off into the morning.
It would take us a little while to get over the feeling of it being over. To enjoy the accomplishment and to re live the memories; That would come. Its almost like the multiple steps of grief. In a way, thats exactly what this was. Grief; that something special that we were a part of had ended. That we had to go back to our offices and lives and routines. That the buzz and the thrill was over.
Its kind of surreal that i can even think fondly of the ride, as for most of it, all i kept trying to do was remind myself as to why i was doing it. Have I figured that out yet? No. However, I have renewed confidence in my ability to push beyond what I thought was possible and to achieve what at times seemed like the impossible. I have also ( much to my horror) developed a tolerance for heat. Suddenly 35 degrees celsius doesn't seem all that hot. Maybe as Ajith said so often on the ride.. it did build character.
The other lesson learned was that there really was no point bitching to the gods about the pain you were in and counting down the km's till the end. First, the gods don't give a shit about the discomfort you are going through. I figure they have more pressing issues than sore bums and numb testicles to worry about. Second, trying to count down only seems to make things go slower. Painfully, mind numbing, hysteria rising, slower. Just go with it. Live in the moment. Think good thoughts and focus on whats happening then and there. Spin your wheels. Before you know it, your smoking that first post ride Gold Leaf and sipping that cold beer.
How will this translate into my daily life, and will this help me continue to strive towards my fitness and life goals? Yes. I honestly think it will. This time I paid attention to what my body and mind was going through. i know the whole thing about old dogs and new tricks but this time I hope I have learned.
Since returning, Charlene and I have been spending more and more time on our bikes. Riding three times a week, including a ride to Bentota and many early morning rides to and around Colombo. It feels great. The bike is no longer the object of terror it once was. My bum hurts far less or not at all, as do my wrists and elbows and I can actually bend over to grip the lower part of the handle bars. A feat unachievable in the past due to a huge lump of belly fat folding up and suffocating me.
The level of confidence I feel about riding is also high. So much so that I am now thinking of joining this ride on an annual basis (that's what Ajith and Yasas plan on doing), making it a goal of mine to be able to ride it better each year. I have also got a few 'extreme' rides in mind, which have won a nod from Ajith but I haven't shared it with the rest. I am sure a few others would jump at the chance. I am also planning on joining a proposed ride around Sri Lanka in August. Maybe not the whole thing but a few of the legs.
If you had asked me abut riding, while half way between Mullaitivu and Jaffna, the odds of you having to make a hasty trip to the closest hospital to retrieve a size 10 riding shoe (with cleats), from the depths of your rectum would have been far better than even. Now however, it would be a welcome conversation.
I have also signed up with a personal trainer to work on my diet, lifestyle and to work out three days a week. I have actually started monitoring what I am eating. I have cut down my alcohol consumption and while I don't want to call it a diet, in fear that my mind will immediately go into 'fuck dieting' mode, I think of it more as 'sensible consumption'.
My first workout was was two days ago and apart from feeling like I have been raped by a Gorilla and then thrown under the feet of a rampaging Rhino, alls well. I am not sure how I am going to manage to tie my shoe laces, leave alone work out again today, but that's the plan. I would like to ask my trainer for some sympathy today, but knowing her she would probably push me harder, so I shall shut up and push on.
I have set myself a new goal. I want to drop my weight a further 10kg and be able to ride in the 'front pack' with the big boys. I want to get back to wearing my thin clothes and give my fat clothes to charity. I want to be able to see my 'willie' without having to peek over a belly roll and I would dearly love to see an old friend, my six pack, come back to say hello to me. I have been bitten by the fitness bug who seems to be closely related to the bike bug and I am loving every minute of it.
So who's the trainer?? Don't mind if I do :)
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